It really annoys me when you get into a TCS (Total Combat Situation) before breakfast.
Which is exactly what happened to me this morning.
I had just poured myself a glass of fresh walrus juice and was sitting down to a bowl of cereal when my KB15 started flashing and I just knew there was some kind of attack imminent.
I didn’t even have time to prepare.
I went straight to the front door, opened it, and there I saw them.
Four of them: Three wrestle-ninjas and a two-tailed devil-cat.
I knew immediately that this was not a good situation:
[a] Because I was still in my pyjamas
[b] Because I was outnumbered
[c] Because I was not prepared, and
[d]
…I can’t remember what [d] was.
Lucky I was still holding my cereal bowl and I’ve been in a lot of situations with two-tailed devil-cats before. They are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very dangerous and you need to move calmly yet super-quickly, which is what I did.
I activated my transformer (which I aways have on me)…
…transformed the cereal bowl into a watermelon…
and threw it straight at the devil-cat.
Perfectly on target, it lodged in the devil-cat’s jaw and he was out of the game. I mean, if you have a watermelon in your mouth there’s not much you can do.
Next the wrestle-ninjas. Again, I have had over 345 encounters with wrestle-ninjas and one needs to act fast. These ones were just standing there, ready to fight. And as you know from the North Manual, wrestle-ninjas know over 1,000 different wrestle moves each. So theoretically I was facing 3,000 different wrestle moves. And while I know the manual well, I don’t know every single move.
Plus, I was still in pyjamas, not cool. Luckily I also had my GH43 on my ankle. I activated it and a large pool of quicksand opened up between myself and the wrestle-ninjas.
They had already started PWM-455 (Preliminary Wrestle Manoeuvre 455) and were advancing. They didn’t see the quicksand and they were out of the game.
I went back inside and poured myself another bowl of cereal.
And that’s how my day started. It was kind of annoying. I had to eat my cereal really fast, but that’s what you have to deal with when you are me.